Needs and Wants
by B and M
Summary: Michonne deals with the effects of life in the safe zone on herself and her relationship with Rick.
1. Chapter 1

**I started this series to explore a scenario where things don't start out so smoothly for Rick and Michonne once they reach safety. This was a spontaneous idea, so we'll see where it goes. There's so much speculation about what's to come, and I think I wanted to reassure myself that there could still be a future for them even if there are early road blocks. Hope you enjoy!**

Michonne sat at her desk in the sparsely furnished one room office that served as the police headquarters for the Alexandria settlement trying to force herself to start her day's work. It was only 8:15 AM, but the mundanity of filling out the previous day's reports was already putting her to sleep: missing cat, fight over the last shower gel at the supply store, disgruntled old lady complaining about noise from her neighbor's children playing outside in the middle of the day, etc. She had to actively remind herself that boredom was a small cost to pay for being safe.

The group had arrived at the Alexandria settlement a little over four weeks ago, and this was her third week on the job as deputy to Rick's chief of police. It certainly wasn't anything she had ever pictured herself doing, but the settlement had no need for a lawyer. She figured this would be a better position than anything else given she could work with Rick and keep an eye on the community, ensuring the safety of Carl, Judith, and the other group members.

"Hey, Michonne, sorry I'm late. I got held up dropping Judy off at daycare again," Rick said as he came through the door to their office. She signaled it was no problem at all by holding out her hands gesturing to the quiet, empty office.

"Right," he said catching her drift. He walked over to her desk and dropped a brown paper bag in front of her. "Apple cinnamon muffin. Mrs. Summers insisted I take it, and I figured you'd enjoy it more than me," he said smiling knowing her love of sweets.

"Thank you," she replied with a faint upward turn of her lips. She found that she was now often the beneficiary of the kindness many of the community members, particularly female, showed toward the handsome new officer. She'd enjoyed her share of cookies and casseroles brought to his home as welcome gifts. In this particular case, the muffin came from the 63 year old woman who ran Judith's daycare. She was taken with Officer Grimes and always trapped him in conversation at drop off and pick up times.

She pushed the bag to the side of her desk and watched as he turned around and made his way over to the coffee maker. His hair was shorter and he was clean shaven. He still wore his signature boots, dark pants, and belt; but the tattered, worn shirts were replaced by a crisp, button down uniform top. The intensity in his face was waning and he appeared more relaxed. He looked several years younger to her now, as if this is who he was prior to the turn. Perhaps that's why he seemed to be settling into this new life more easily than she thought he would; this actually wasn't such a new life at all. It was practically just like his old life: officer and father in a simple small town. With the exception of no longer being someone's husband, he got to pick up right where he left off.

He turned around with coffee in hand, surprised to find her staring at him. She abruptly broke eye contact and started shuffling the papers on her desk. "Sorry, there was something I had to tell you and I just lost it. Um..." she said searching for something reasonable to say to divert his attention from the awkwardness.

He walked over to her desk, came around to the side where she sat and propped his rear on the edge with his legs outstretched in front of him. He was directly to her right and her eyes were level with his left hand which held his coffee mug. Somehow the position of his hand and her proximity made his ever present wedding band seem more prominent than ever. She was transfixed on it for a moment and finally tore her eyes away when she thought of something to say.

"Ginger. They found Ginger. That's what I was gonna tell you," she said as she scooted her rolling chair back just a few inches to give her space.

"Who?"

"Ginger, the cat from yesterday. They found her by the community center," she replied.

He chuckled, "Oh, right. Case closed then. Good work, deputy."

"I guess," she said not quite as impressed by this bit of information as he was.

He looked at her and shrugged his shoulders, then lifted his mug to his mouth. When he drank his coffee, he slurped it then finished each sip with a little ahhh sound. She never had the luxury of having a hot cup of coffee with him prior to Alexandria, and she found this little habit utterly adorable the first few times he did it. Now it was like nails on a chalk board to her. Her neck and shoulder muscles tensed up and she felt like she couldn't get out of the room fast enough. Feeling the tension rising in her, she silently chastised herself with the refrain she had been repeating over and over lately: food, safety, family. She said this anytime she felt any sort of irritation or dissatisfaction because she felt she had no right to anymore. They were here because this is what she pushed for, and she should only be happy and grateful like everyone else seemed to be.

"Michonne, you OK?" Rick asked noticing something wasn't quite right. He was staring intently at her.

"Yeah," she said almost breathlessly, "it's just stuffy in here." She tugged at her uniform collar.

Rick placed the back of his palm to her forehead, then to the side of her cheek checking for fever. "You're not warm, but you just don't look well. Why don't you head home and rest?"

"No, I'm fine. I don't want you to have to cover for me."

He copied her earlier gesture and waved his hand out at the quiet office, "I think I can handle it."

She knew she wasn't coming down with anything, but she didn't want to pass up the chance to get some time to herself to gather her thoughts and hopefully get out of the funk she was in.

"OK, but if you need anything-"

"I know where you live. Don't worry," he interrupted.

She gathered her things then made her way to the center of the room, stopping and turning toward him on her way out, "OK, well I'll see you later."

"See you later. Feel better," he said. He kept his eyes on her until she was out of the building, then sighed and looked down at his empty desk. He wasn't sure what was going on with her, but he was concerned.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the all of the great reviews and comments on the first chapter. Many of you picked up on certain things that were going on with Michonne, and this chapter will certainly expand on that. It's going to take a while for this all to unfold, so hang in there. Thanks for reading!**

Michonne followed the paved pathway up to the doorstep, unlocked the door, and stepped inside her new home of just a few weeks. It was a small, simple house; but it far exceeded her expectations because when she pictured their future, she always thought home would come in the form of another unconventional setting like the prison. As thankful as she was for this house, it still felt a bit foreign to her. It was a study in browns with light beige carpeting, freshly painted darker beige walls, an overstuffed khaki sofa with two matching armchairs, and a dark wood coffee table. The only pop of color in the came from a small pink blanket lying in the middle of the room. She walked over to the blanket, picked it up, folded it, and draped it over the arm of the couch. She then grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen before heading upstairs to her bedroom.

She set the glass of water on her dresser and studied herself in the mirror as she unbuttoned her top. She had reinvented herself and adapted to changes so many times since the turn, but this transition wasn't going as easily as she expected it to. It was the closest to real life she'd been in years, yet she felt restless and anxious. At first she told herself that her body and mind were still in a state of hyper arousal after being in survival mode for so long, and that she would eventually settle down. Lately, though, she had started to identify this more as a feeling of something missing in her life. She had food, water, shelter, and safety. She also had her friends who had become her family. Now, however, she found herself thinking about things beyond the basic necessities like love, intimacy, a greater purpose in life. She wanted as many aspects of her old life back as she could, and being in this more normal setting made her more impatient to have them.

She slipped into bed and her mind wandered off to the first few days in Alexandria, thinking of how the initial skepticism of the group gave way to giddiness and hope once they realized this place may not be too good to be true. She smiled as she thought specifically of their third night in Alexandria. It was a night she found herself thinking back to often.

_She stood in front of her dresser mirror trying to fashion her locks into a chignon at the base of her neck, but she was just a few pins short of being able to do so. She thought that wearing her hair back would compliment the plum colored sleeveless sheath dress she had found in her closet that day. The dress was plain with a high neck in the front, but had a deep V-shaped opening in the back which made her feel a little less conservative and a little more like herself. She finished it off with a pair of black peep-toe heels and a pair of fake diamond studs she found in the dresser drawer. She had exhausted the supply of hair pins in her room, so she decided to check elsewhere in the house. She walked down the hallway and knocked softly on the door of Rick's room hoping that his master bathroom may have some._

_"Come in," he said._

_She cracked the door and peeked her head in first, not wanting to barge in. He was standing directly across the room in front of his open closet with just a towel wrapped around his waist. His bare, muscular back was all she could see and she felt herself blush feeling like he wouldn't have invited her in if he knew it was her and not Carl. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I'll come back later," she said as she started backing out of the doorway._

_He turned around at the sound of her voice revealing his clean shaven face. She reflexively gasped and brought her hands to her mouth shocked at the sight of him. She couldn't help her reaction as a huge smile spread across her face as she started to giggle. _

_He got a serious look on his face and made his way across the room and over to her, stepping into her personal space. Her giggling slowed as he stood toe to toe with her looking down into her eyes. "What's so funny?" he asked in a gruff voice. _

_Her face felt hot and her breathing quickened slightly as she stared back at him for what seemed like the longest second of her life. She was ninety-five percent sure he was fucking with her, but the fact that he hadn't broken with a grin yet left a little doubt in her mind. She moved forward to close the already small gap between them and placed her left finger under his smooth jaw, then traced her finger along the angle of his face toward his chin, not breaking eye contact. _

_"Your face," she replied starting to laugh as she finished saying it. Before she knew it, he grabbed her wrist, turned her around, and pulled her into to him so that she was trapped with her back against his chest. His other hand came up to secure her free arm so that she couldn't get away. They were both laughing so hard they could hardly breathe. _

_"You're not right, Michonne," he huffed into her ear in between laughs. She tried to squirm out of his arms, but he had her completely wrapped up and only tightened his grip when she tried. _

_"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said as she continued to laugh and try to wiggle out of grip. "I really do like it, I swear!"_

_"I don't really buy that, " he answered back, tightening his grip on her again._

_"Oh come on, Rick! Wait, what time is it?" she asked urgently. _

_He loosened his grip slightly as he strained his neck to see the clock on his night stand, and she slipped away from him. _

_"Sucker," she said as she made her way into his bathroom to look for bobbie pins. _

_"You're not right," he said again shaking his head as be walked back over to his closet._

_When she emerged, he was still standing in front of his closet in his towel with his hands on his hips. "You wearing that to the party?" she asked as she made her way over to his dresser mirror to secure her hair with the extra pins she found in his bathroom. He met her eyes in the mirror and shook his head. _

_"I don't know what to wear," he answered. _

_She scanned the closet contents from their reflection in the mirror and answered, "Light grey gingham shirt, black pants, dark grey jacket."_

_He met her eyes again in the mirror and raised his eyebrows with grin, "Gingham?"_

_"Light grey _checkered_ shirt, sorry." She said as she finished up her hair and turned to leave. "Hurry up. I'll meet you downstairs."_

_As she walked down the stairs the thought wasn't lost on her that she had just been pressed against his near naked body. She still felt a little rush and flutter in her stomach from what had just happened. Her face was warm and she felt like she had the stupidest grin on her face that she tried to suppress. Teasing and joking was something they did frequently, but what just happened between them went beyond the normal._

_She made her way into the living room to find Carl sitting on the couch with Judith in his lap reading to her. When he heard Michonne's foot steps he looked up, "Whoa! You're wearing a dress!"_

_"Thanks, Captain Obvious," she said with a smile. _

_He laughed at her reply, then took on a more earnest tone, "You look really nice, Michonne. Doesn't she, Judy?" He tickled the baby's belly and she giggled in agreement. _

_"Thank you. That's really sweet of you to say." She walked towards the kids and sat on the couch with them, then lifted the book slightly to see what they were reading. "Good Night Moon," she said smiling. "Nice choice, big brother." _

_"Yeah, my mom-" Rick's movement down the stairs caught his attention and he looked up to see his father clean shaven wearing a dress shirt and pants. His mouth dropped open and his face stayed frozen like that for a second. When he finally found his words, his voice was shaky with emotion, "Wow, Dad..." _

_Michonne looked down to see tears welling up in Carl's eyes which caused her to well up instantly, as well. She looked up at Rick and made eye contact, she could tell his son's reaction had surprised him. Michonne took Judy from his arms which freed Carl to stand up and walk over to his father. "Dad, you look like you used to back when..." he trailed off and wrapped his arms around his father's waist. Rick embraced his son and locked eyes with Michonne who was wiping tears out of the corner of her eyes. He bent his head to kiss the top of his son's head, then knelt down in front of him to talk._

_"I figured I'd go for a new look for our new beginning. Guess it's not such a new look, huh?" he said smiling. _

_"No, but it's good. I like it, Dad. You're back."_

_Rick smiled and nodded at his son. He stood up and used his thumb to smudge the tears off of his cheeks, then pulled him in for another hug. _

_After releasing him, he looked down at his son, and asked "You gonna be OK here with your sister?"_

_"Yeah, we're gonna be fine," Carl assured him. _

_"We won't be out too late, and Daryl's right next door if you need anything, OK?"_

_"I know, I know. You guys can go now," Carl said in an exasperated tone._

_Michonne handed Judith over to Carl, kissed them both good night, then walked towards the door. Rick opened the door and motioned for her to leave first. As she made her way past him, he placed his hand at the small of her back, then followed behind her. He turned to stop and lock the door, then rejoined her. _

_She smiled and asked, "You ready for this party?"_

_"Hold on," he said as she moved his thumb to the corner of her eye and wiped gently. "Mascara," he said smiling. _

_She looked down slightly embarrassed, "Yeah, you guys were killing me in there."_

_"I never imagined he would have had that kind of reaction," Rick said. _

_"No, but it makes all the sense in the world. It took him back to a time when things were simpler. Hopefully you guys can get some of that back now," she said as they walked side by side down the street._

_"Yeah, hopefully," Rick said._

_They continued walking in silence for a minute until Michonne spoke, "Just so you know, I really do like the new look."_

_He cocked as head and raised his eyebrows questioning whether she really wanted to go down this road again._

_She laughed and reassured him, "No, I swear. No bull shit. I do! You look very handsome."_

_"Thank you," he said smiling bashfully. "I have to tell you, when you came into my room today, I was taken aback too. You're absolutely beautiful tonight." _

_"Rick.." she shyly answered back._

_"You are. No bull shit," he said copying her with a smile._

_She started to laugh at how ridiculous she must have sounded, "So I lost some of my polish on the road, what do you expect? Let's hope I can get it back."_

_"Yes, let's," he said teasing her. He sighed as they reached the door of the community center. "You ready to get back into the real world?"_

_"Yes, but let's hit the bar first. Will make it a little easier," she said grinning. _

_"I'll follow your lead," he said smiling as he opened the door and ushered her in to the par__ty. _


	3. Chapter 3

**It's been a long time since the last update, but after some time off and clearing my head from the events on the show, I was able to find some time and inspiration for writing. Just to remind you, this story set once the group reaches Alexandria and I'm taking many liberties with the plot. Some things are the same, and some are different from the show. This chapter picks up in a flashback to the night of the party. It's a long update, but I had a lot of catching up to do. Hope you enjoy! **

Michonne pushed through the doors which revealed a party that was already well underway. The room was smaller than she imagined it would be and was filled to capacity with probably 30-40 people. She tried to scan the room for familiar faces of her friends, but the group of Alexandria residents standing closest to the door was blocking her line of sight. The six of them had stopped their conversation once the door opened, directed their eyes towards Michonne and Rick, and smiled expectantly as the two made their way into the room. She looked over her shoulder to make sure Rick was still with her. He caught her glance and nodded his head forward encouraging her to proceed.

She used to be good at this sort of thing since her previous life was a nonstop loop of client dinners, cocktail parties, and family gatherings; so she mustered up the biggest smile she could and approached the group.

"Hi, I'm-"

"Michonne. Michonne and Rick, our new constables. We know who you are," said a plump middle aged woman with dirty blonde hair, "My name is Bev and this is my husband, John," she said pointing to the man next to her. "We're both teachers. That's Pete and Jessie Anderson, he's our doctor and Jessie works in the pantry. And that's Tobin and Francine, they both work in construction," she said as she pointed out the other members of the group.

She gave a general wave to the group, "Well, it's nice to meet you all. Thank you for welcoming us so warmly already. We're looking forward to settling in and getting to know everyone," she said with a smile as she turned to Rick trying to include him in her sentiment since he had remained quiet. He grinned and nodded in agreement.

"You know, your baby girl is the talk of the town. She's just precious. How old is she?" Bev asked while the others watched on. Based on their non-reactions, it was apparent that she was talkative and there was no use in trying to rein her in.

"Ahhh," he hesitated as he squinted his eyes and looked upward. Michonne could tell he was trying to figure it out since they had lost track of the date by the time she was born.

"She's 9 months old," Michonne piped in to help him out. Since Judy was sitting on her own, but not yet walking or talking, she figured it was a safe guess based on her experience with Andre.

Her assured answer surprised him, and he met her eyes with a bemused look on his face before addressing Bev, "Yeah, 9 months. I'm terrible with birthdays, anniversaries, all dates really. Typical, I guess," he said as he shrugged his shoulders relying on his southern charm and self-deprecation to diffuse any awkwardness. It elicited a polite laugh from the group as he'd hoped.

"Oh honey, don't take it personally," Bev said as she reached across to pat Michonne's arm. "Been with John thirty-three years and I think he's remembered five anniversaries on his own? You're lucky you've got that handsome face to get you out of trouble," she said with her eyes on Rick.

Michonne only hoped her face wasn't relaying the mixture of confusion and embarrassment she was feeling. Did this lady really just imply she was Rick's wife and possibly Judith's mother? Wrong and obviously impossible. And if she was his wife, she's fairly sure the lady just said her husband was cute and dumb. Also wrong.

Rick nodded and grinned again as this was apparently his standard response for the night, then added, "Well, it's been nice talking with y'all. If you'll excuse us, we promised Deanna we'd check in with her as soon as we got here." With that, he placed his hand at the small of Michonne's back and guided her toward the center of the room.

As soon as they were a few steps beyond the group, Michonne finally looked up and made eye contact with Rick. She shook her head in disbelief and mouthed "what the hell" to which he shook his head. As she faced forward again, she finally caught sight of a familiar face.

"Maggie!" she said reaching to grasp her forearm.

"Oh my goodness, hey y'all," she said in a relieved tone. She wrapped her free arm around Michonne for a quick hug.

"Where's Glenn?" Rick asked.

"He's grabbing drinks with Abraham and Rosita. I was looking around to see if anyone else was here so they could join us. Glad you found me," Maggie said smiling.

"Glad we did, too. I think I've hit my limit on small talk already," Rick said.

"You met the pasta machine lady?" Maggie asked.

"No, we haven't had the pleasure," Michonne said. "We were just talking to the town crier, Bev."

"Bev. Yeah, we met her. She wanted to know when 'Baby Rhee' would be arriving," Maggie said rolling her eyes.

"Wait, are you?" Rick asked quietly. Michonne couldn't help but smile at how concerned and cute he sounded asking that.

"No, no, no," Maggie assured him. "She wanted to know how long we've been married, why we didn't have a baby yet, when we'd have a baby, and so on. I don't think she really gets where we came from."

"It's just a different world with a different set of priorities in here," Rick mused. The two women nodded in agreement while looking around the room.

Michonne felt Rick tap her forearm, and turned her head to find him leaning into her personal space. "How 'bout I go get those drinks we talked about earlier?" he asked in low voice.

"Yes. Please."

"What'll you have?"

"Whatever you're drinking," she said not caring much about what she was drinking so long as she had one.

"Yeah?" he said as he tilted his head to one said.

"Yeah," she answered back confidently with a smile.

"All right..." he said grinning. "You need anything, Maggie?"

"No, I'm good, thanks. Glenn's got me covered."

Michonne watched Rick walk away then returned her attention to Maggie who was looking at her with a small grin on her face.

"What?" Michonne asked.

She just grinned wider and shook her head.

"Maggie…" Michonne said in a warning tone.

"I'm sorry, but would you rather it come from me or someone else? It's only a matter of time at this point," she said gently to her friend.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You do. You and Rick. What's going on?"

"Honestly, nothing. We're not together. We're friends like we always have been."

"Michonne, ever since Terminus, you've been inseparable. The kids are always with you, you're living together now, and you're flat out flirting with each other right in front of me."

"We were joking around. Rick actually does that sometimes. And we've all been living together as long as we've known each other. We're sharing space out of necessity, not playing house."

"Glenn mentioned that he thought something was up when you guys went to Shirewilt, and I thought I saw something too. Whatever it is, we care about you both, and we just want you to be happy. I'll go back to minding my own business like my mama taught me, though," Maggie said smiling.

Michonne smiled back and saw Rick along with Glenn, Abraham, and Rosita approaching, so she decided their conversation was over.

Rick assumed his position at her side again, and handed her a glass of bourbon.

"Well folks, I don't know about you all, but I am feeling very blessed tonight," Abraham started. "Walls around us, roofs over our heads, clean clothes, food in our bellies, alcohol flowing so very freely...and fellas, we are especially lucky to have these lovely ladies by our sides. We are indeed the lucky ones." Rosita sidled up to Abraham so he could put his arm around her. Maggie glanced at Michonne with a slight widening of the eyes. Michonne just stared into the circle of friends avoiding Rick's reaction because she didn't want any awkwardness and she she certainly didn't want to add any fuel to the fire for the others.

"So let's raise our glasses for a toast," he continued. "To better lives, our better halves, and their mighty fine asses."

"Abraham," Rosita hissed and swatted him with her hand. Glenn, Maggie, and Michonne quietly stared at each other for a split second until Rick started to chuckle and shook his head.

"Cheers?" he said raising his glass. Everyone followed suit and clinked glasses.

Abraham polished off his drink in one gulp then announced to the group, "My friends, it has been a pleasure. It's time for another one of these, and then back home for the real party." The group said their good nights to them and turned back to each other.

"Glenn, you win the award for most interesting recruits between him and Eugene," Michonne said laughing.

"I love that guy, but half the time I don't know what the hell he's talking about. The other half, I do know and wish I didn't," Glenn answered shaking his head. "The things I've seen and heard, you guys have no idea."

"He's family now, honey. Crazy Uncle Abe. Every family's got one," Maggie said.

"That's the truth," Rick said. "Hate to do this, but we've gotta move on. We told Deanna we'd check in with her once we got here."

"No problem. We need to find Noah and Tara anyway. We'll see you guys later, OK?" Maggie said.

"OK," Michonne answered giving each of them a quick hug good night.

As she and Rick headed off, she turned to him, "Do we really have some kind of meeting with Deanna?"

"Not if I can help it."

"So this is just your new excuse when you wanna get out of something?"

His lips curled into a guilty smile, "Maybe."

"So if I ask for help with the dishes or if Judith wakes up crying in the middle of the night, you're gonna try that line?"

"Maybe."

"Don't. It's not gonna work on me."

"No?" he asked teasingly.

"Definitely not," she said laughing.

"You know, it's not always Deanna. Sometimes it's you."

"What?"

"If I want to get out of something, I just say, 'I gotta check in with Michonne' or 'I told Michonne I'd help her out with something.' It works every time, no questions asked."

"Shut up, you do not do that."

"I do."

"Don't drag me into your messes. I don't want any part in that," she said as she finished her drink.

"Another round?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said as they made their way to the bar. He refilled their glasses while she took two more plastic cups and set them in front of her. When he was done pouring the second glass, she took the bottle from his hand and put a generous pour in each of the plastic cups.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Roadies," she said with a mischievous grin.

"Officer…"

"Deanna said so?" she countered.

"No, that's not how that works," he said laughing.

"Michonne says so," as she handed him one of the plastic cups.

He shook his head at her, "Double fisted. People will talk."

"Let's get out of here before they see us then," she said as they headed out the back door. She spied two Adirondack chairs on the back deck overlooking the small pond and made her way to them. As they settled into the chairs, they audibly sighed in unison then looked at each other and started to laugh.

"This is more like it," Rick said letting his head turn to the left to face Michonne.

"It is. Fresh air. Peace and quiet. Ironic that we're supposed to be celebrating our new home, and we end up out here," she said as she rested her head on the back of the chair and turned it to the side to face him, as well.

"We celebrated. We came, drank, met a few people. I'm fine with it."

"Me too," she said as she felt her cheeks start to warm from the second drink. She took a moment to really look at him since it was just the two of them and he was completely turned toward her. She'd seen this man nearly every day for the better part of a year, but she knew things weren't the same between them. How they were tonight was not the same as it was 6 months ago, 3 weeks ago, or even just a few days ago. She could try to deny it to herself and anyone who asked or assumed things, but was there a point in doing that anymore?

Rick reached over and tapped the near empty glass in her hand, "So what now?"

He left his hand lingering on the arm of her chair, so she hooked one of her fingers around his. He looked so relaxed leaned back in his chair looking at her with a slight smile on his face. As she took a deep breath in, she became aware of a tightness in her chest and the feeling of her heart beating a little faster. She opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it and shook her head. There were so many ways to answer that question, but the one closest to coming out terrified her. She rubbed her finger back and forth over his, unaware she was even doing it until she noticed the smooth, cool metal of his ring interrupting the warmth of his skin each time she moved her finger against his. She wasn't sure whether it was just a convenient cop out or a valid reason, but it was right there in front of her telling her something. She shrugged her shoulders, and finally answered him, "Don't know."

He turned back toward the pond, and lifted his glass to his mouth to finish off his second glass, then set it down in the grass beside him. He then exhaled, stretched his legs out in front of him, and closed his eyes. "I'd be happy to stay like this forever."

He looked more at peace than she'd ever seen him before, and she wanted to be happy for her friend because no one needed a moment like this more than him, but she couldn't help feeling like their evening had come to a disappointing end. The joking, small touches, and tipsiness had led to nothing and the frustration was gnawing at her.

"You falling asleep on me over there?"

He grinned with his eyes still close, "Nah, I'm just resting my eyes."

"Right...so how long should I let you rest your eyes?"

"20 minutes?"

"Sure thing," she said as she gently extracted her hand from his to finish her glass as well. He left his hand resting on the arm of her chair with his watch facing her. She reached down beside her to trade out her glass for the plastic cup and started on her third drink, her eyes cast over the pond and the just the sound of Rick's watch and light snoring filling the air. All dressed up, she thought, and going nowhere…


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Just wanted to give a little note as to the timing of this chapter. It picks up present day which is about 3 weeks from the party flashback that was heavily featured in the last 2 updates. It's not too exciting, but it's a necessary transition for the next few chapters. Thank you to those of you who reviewed the story and fav'd it, it's honestly so flattering and motivating. I'm happy that I'm able to put something out that to help make the hiatus a little easier to bear. Enjoy!**

A loud bang woke Michonne up from a dead sleep with a gasp. She could feel her pulse pounding in her head and chest, and she had a moment of complete disorientation before she realized she was safe in her new bedroom. The sound that woke her was coming from someone knocking on the front door. She reached over to check the alarm clock on her nightstand which read 4:45 PM.

"Shit," she muttered as she rubbed her eyes and hopped out of bed. She grabbed the jeans draped over the bench at the end of her bed and threw them on, zipping and buttoning them up as she raced down the stairs to answer the door. The knocking was growing louder and more incessant. "Coming!" she called out.

When she opened the door, the scene in front of her furthered her sense of disorientation. Eugene stood before her with Judith facing forward, feet dangling free in the air, as he gripped her with his hands at her sides. At the sight of Michonne, he extended the baby towards her.

"Rick is delayed at work and he asked me to return the children to their home. If you could please confirm receipt, I would be grateful and I will be on my way."

Before she could speak, Carl pushed passed her into the house clearly having no tolerance for this situation. She grabbed the baby from Eugene's hands and cradled her against her chest. "Did he say anything else? Is everything OK?"

"No ma'am, he did not give me any details, but he did not appear to be in any distress."

She furrowed her brow as she tried to make sense of what was going on, "But how...why..."

"Why me? I ran into him on the street. That is all of the information I have. If you'll excuse me, I need to get going. Good day, Michonne," he said as he turned around and walked away.

She shut the door and walked over to Carl who was sitting on the couch emptying the contents of his book bag on to the coffee table. "What was that all about?" she asked.

"I don't know. He was waiting with Judith when I came out of school. He said Dad asked him to walk us home. Why didn't he just send you?"

"I went home early, so I wasn't with him. Did everything seem OK out there?"

"Yeah, normal day. I wouldn't worry," he said without concern as he started on his homework. "Oh hey, can we have that stir fry you made the other night for dinner again?"

"Yeah, we can do that. We'll plan to eat in about an hour."

_

As they sat at the dinner table quietly eating their food, Michonne looked up to check the clock in between nearly every bite of food. Logically she knew everything was fine, but she couldn't suppress the urge to check. If there was something wrong, he would have figured out a way to let her know.

"I can watch Judith if you want to go check on dad," Carl said noticing she was distracted.

"No. No need. I'm sure it's nothing. Eat up."

"What is Judy thinking right now?" he asked with a smile.

Michonne let out a small laugh and smiled back at him. He was referring to one of the many made up games they had on the road to pass time and amuse themselves. She looked over at Judith who was using both hands to smear her food around on her plate.

"She's thinking, oh my god, I am so over mashed lima beans, people."

Carl laughed and added in, "Watch out because when I can walk and eat real food, I'm gonna destroy your candy stash."

Michonne gasped, "I did not even think about that. This could be a major problem. Hopefully she'll have your dad's lack of a sweet tooth and stay away from of our stash."

"We can start brain washing her now," Carl said turning his attention to the baby. "You love lima beans and peas. They are the tastiest foods in the world." The baby started to giggle which made Michonne and Carl laugh.

"This feels wrong," she said laughing while Carl continued trying to convince Judith of her love of vegetables.

In the midst of their game, the door opened and Rick walked in to find Michonne and his children laughing at the dinner table. As he made his way over to them, a smile spread across his face. "What's going on here?"

"Nothing, just having a little talk with Judith," Carl said.

"She talkin' back?" he asked as he took his jacket off and draped it over the back of an empty chair at the dining table.

"Not yet," he answered smirking.

"You're gonna be sorry when she does, son. She's gonna give you hell. You have to expect some trouble from a little girl with a nickname like Lil Asskicker," he said grinning as he made his way into the kitchen to fix a plate. Michonne followed him with her eyes trying to get a read on him.

"Everything OK?" she called out.

"Everything's fine," he said meeting her eyes and giving her a reassuring nod. "How was school today, Carl?" he asked as he walked back over to the table with his plate and took a seat.

After putting Judith down for the night, Rick made his way downstairs to find that Michonne had already cleared the table and was getting ready to wash dishes. As he entered the kitchen, he called out to Michonne, "I'll take care of those."

"It's OK, I got it."

"You made dinner. Get," he said as he came up beside her at the sink and nudged her to the side. She relented and handed him the dish in her hand, then stepped aside to lean against the counter.

"So what happened?" she asked unable to contain her curiosity anymore.

He paused and looked at her, "Hey, how are you feeling?"

She exhaled; frustrated that he was delaying the conversation. "I feel...better. Fine now, actually."

"Good. What do you think it was?"

She sighed again, "I don't know...just tired or a 24 hour flu or something."

"Hmm." He nodded and went back to washing dishes.

"So?"

"It was nothing, just broke up a little marital spat."

"Between whom?"

"You remember the doctor and the blonde woman from the party?" he asked. She nodded. "He had too much to drink, and they got into an argument on their front porch, so I broke it up. He's sleeping it off on the couch in his clinic, and she's cooling down at home. No big deal."

"Has this happened before?"

"Not that they'd admit to, but I'm sure it has. That's how these things go. We'll just keep an eye on it."

"You could have gotten me. I told you to let me know if anything happened."

"You weren't feeling well. I didn't have anything to do all day until I was about to walk out the door and their neighbor got me and asked me to intervene. No big deal. You know how many of these calls I've gone on before?"

"I know you can handle it. I just feel bad that I wasn't there."

"Well, don't." He finished the washing the last plate and placed it in the drying rack then turned to his side, resting his hip against the counter so that he was fully facing her. He looked at her intently enough that she had to turn her head to break their gaze.

"What?" she asked.

"What's wrong?"

"Rick..."

"What's going on lately? Is it this place? Me? The kids too much for you?"

She gave him a stern look for suggesting that the kids were a problem. She'd already promised him she was done taking breaks and had shown her commitment to his children.

"I know, but things change," he said acknowledging her look. "You gotta give me something, though. You don't like the job? The uniform?"

"I do hate the uniform,' she said with a small smile.

"So that's what's up? You don't like the uniform," he said smiling. He took a step towards her and lowered his head to look at her again. She wasn't off the hook.

_I can't concentrate when you're standing this close to me lately? _or _I'm having trouble being your friend right now because I feel like I want more and I am afraid to fuck things up? _These were the most truthful options, but she couldn't bring herself to say any of those words. She wasn't even that concerned about being turned down, but she would probably always question whether he just went with it for practical purposes and lack of options or whether he really wanted it, as well. She questioned whether it would even matter, but the fact that she worried about it only confirmed her answer. She wanted it all, but only if it was real.

"I just don't feel like myself right now. I don't know what else to tell you. I'm trying to figure out where I fit in here," she said simply. Vague, but not a completely dishonest answer. Rick just nodded quietly. "It's probably hard for you to understand because this feels more like real life for you, but it's a lot of change for me."

He looked to the ceiling and grinned, "I wouldn't exactly say that, but I could see why you would. Look, I want to help you however I can. You wanna talk? We can talk. You need space? Take it. Just let me know."

"I appreciate that, but I'm gonna work it out."

"OK," he responded looking less than convinced. "I'm gonna hit the shower and head to bed. I'll see ya tomorrow morning."

"Yep. Good night." He gave her a light pat on her upper arm, then turned to head upstairs. She watched him until he disappeared from her sight, then she turned and gripped the counter with both hands, cursing herself under her breath. Despite trying to keep their friendship intact, she felt as though she had just created a tiny crack that could grow if she kept down this path.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks, as always, for reading and reviewing the last chapter. I know I sound like a broken record, but you are appreciated and keep me motivated to continue writing. R&amp;M are pretty good motivation, too. I know a lot of you were frustrated with Michonne-I'm sorry. Just keep reading. Also, ****dancer4life5, this story is from her POV, but I think you'll get more insight into Rick's thoughts in the next few installments. **

Michonne came down the stairs in full uniform to find Rick, with Judith propped on his hip, setting up the coffee maker. He was dressed down in jeans and a tan button up shirt which she was surprised to see.

"Good Morning," she said walking into the kitchen to join them. She pulled out 2 mugs from the cabinet and set them in front of the machine so that she could pour a cup the minute it was ready. This was one of the small luxuries she was happy to have back in her life.

"Morning," he said in a soft voice, sleepiness still lingering.

"You want me to take her so you can finish getting ready?"

"I am ready," he said looking down over his outfit. "I was gonna come up after I got the coffee going to let you know you wouldn't need your uniform today."

"Why?" she asked suspiciously.

"Special project. You'll be more comfortable in something else. You'll probably wanna bring your sword, too. Just in case."

"Okay..." she replied dragging the end of the word out with obvious irritation as she turned and headed back upstairs to change.

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Rick and Michonne left the Armory where they had just checked out their guns and headed toward the gate where were met by Sasha who was there to let them out.

"You on watch today?" Rick asked.

"Yeah, I'm heading up to relieve Spencer in a few minutes."

"Good. We'll be out there a few hours."

"No problem. I'll keep an eye out for you," Sasha said as she opened the gate for them.

As soon as it shut behind them, Michonne turned to Rick, "So what does this special project entail?"

"Just gonna check the perimeter, scope out the area, see what we can see..."

"Did Deanna ask us to do this? Is there a specific concern?

"No, just thought it would be a good idea. We don't know this area and should."

"Fair enough," she said as they walked along and took in the new surroundings. She'd never been an outdoorsy type prior to the turn; her experience in the woods had been limited to a few bonfires in high school. They were practically a second home now, however. There was something comforting and familiar about being outside again. She started to smile to herself as she looked around her.

"What's up?" he asked noticing her smile.

"Nothing really. It's just, you think the woods are the woods, but it actually feels different from back home."

"Yeah, it does. You miss Georgia?"

She sighed thinking about it, "I miss it, but it's better we're gone. It was hard to see a place you knew so well become just a shell of what it was. I don't know anything different up here, so it feels like this is just how it is and always was. What about you?"

"I don't know. I feel like I should miss it, but I don't really feel one way or the other about leaving."

"Well, what do you think of this place?"

"It's good for the kids. You were right, we couldn't be out here anymore."

Michonne scrunched her face at his non-answer. "I asked what _you_ thought about this place."

They had slowed to a stop and Rick stood looking at her with one hand on his hip and the other tugging at his lower lip distorting what she knew was a smile. "This is ironic coming from you, y'know," he said from behind his hand.

"It is. That being said, I'm sure you understand why I'm asking then..." she responded with a slight smirk of her own.

He dipped his head in deference. "Yes, I do." He paused for a second before answering her question, "I just don't think much about the _place_. I think about the kids. You. Our group. Our safety."

"So you don't like that we have a proper house, food on the table, and warm showers every night? None of that makes you happy?"

"Of course it's nice, but I don't need it. Doesn't matter where we are, the world isn't changing. The game is still the same."

"You're not wrong, but I don't see why you can't say that facing it from inside our community's walls is at least a little nicer than facing it from behind a prison gate or some other makeshift home."

He chuckled and shook his head, "You seem pretty defensive about this place. Weren't you telling me last night you were having trouble with the change and fitting in here?"

"Did you do this on purpose? Some kind of reverse psychology?" she asked begrudgingly.

"No, I wish I was that smart. I was just being honest. Seems you like this place more than you realized, though."

"It's not really a question of liking it. I do. It just brings up things..." she trailed off.

"Things?" he asked teasingly.

"Yeah. Things," she replied with finality. She knew was trying to cajole her into elaborating on her issues, but as cute as she found him at that moment, she wasn't going to do it, particularly since she was sensing for the first time that he wasn't as comfortable as she thought he was here. "We need to keep moving anyway. Come on."

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They continued walking quietly through the woods on the perimeter of the community for the better part of an hour, checking out the area and conversing here and there about anything of interest they saw which was not much at all. They finally heard the familiar rustle of leaves in the distance and turned to see a single walker about 20 feet away heading toward them. Rick glanced at his watch before resting his hand on the handle of his red machete.

"When's the last time you went an hour without seeing a walker outside?" he asked.

"Never?" she said as she reached back to pull her katana out of its holder. "I got it."

As she brought the sword around front, she felt Rick's hand rest upon hers on the sword's handle.

"Can I?" he asked. His face had an almost mischievous look that she had seen on his son before.

"Sure," she said smiling back as she let him take it from her hand. He held it out in front of him, turning it in his hand, taking a moment to admire the feel and design of it. He bounced his hand up and down twice to appreciate the weight of the sword which must have been different than he expected because she heard him let out a small 'huh' as he did it. He looked back at her with a small smile which she couldn't help but match two- fold. Something about watching him with her katana made her swell with unexpected emotion. Her face was taut with the kind of smile that you can't repress no matter how hard you try. He hung back matching her gaze and returning her smile until she urged him on. "Well, go get him before he gets us."

Rick took off in a light jog and took a quick crow hop for momentum before using his right hand to bring the blade through the walker's neck. The head came clean off with no resistance at all and fell to the ground quickly followed by the body. As Rick followed through with the swing of the blade, he lost his balance and had to bend his knees and brace the ground with his left hand to keep himself from falling to the ground.

"You don't need to use that much power. Let her do some of the work for you," she called out from behind him.

"No shit," he said as he steadied himself and stood admiring the blade in his hand. He looked up at her and just nodded, completely speechless, looking impressed with, if not in awe of the weapon.

"You're forgetting something," she said pointing to the blood dripping from the blade. He grinned when he realized what she meant and promptly dropped the blade to his side and with a flick of his wrist, cleared the blood. She nodded in approval as he made his way over to her. He was about to speak when the sound of leaves and grass rustling pulled their attention away again.

"Here come his friends,' Rick said in a low voice spotting about a dozen walkers moving toward them. "Here," he said handing over the katana.

"No, you take it," she said pushing his hand back toward him. She then reached for the machete hanging from his belt. "May I?"

"Please do," he said with a gravelly voice. She hadn't heard that tone in weeks. She used to think it had become his normal speaking voice, but in its recent absence, she realized it came out when he was in fight mode which they had been in perpetually for the past couple of months.

They stood side by side facing the small herd and quickly assessed the best tactic. "Let's split 'em straight down the middle. Half for me, half for you. Pull back and call if you need me," he said.

"Got it," she nodded. He looked at her square in the eye, and then gave the nod to go forward. They descended upon the small group and made quick work of taking them out with ease. As routine as it was, it still got the adrenaline pumping through them and took a fair amount of physical exertion, particularly since these were the first kills in a few weeks for both of them. They walked around the slayed walkers and back to their starting point where they stood side by side, weapons in hand both still breathing heavily.

Rick lifted his free hand and placed it at the nape of her neck, giving it a squeeze. She looked up and gave him a small smile, shaking her head, "Did we always get this winded?"

He looked down at her shaking his head no and they both started to laugh between breaths. "Come here," he said as he pulled her against his chest into a hug, one arm tightening around her upper body and the other still holding the katana at his side. She leaned into him without hesitation, circling her left arm around his waist, and slipping his machete back into the sheath hanging from his belt before wrapping her right arm around him as well. She turned her head so that the side of her face was flush against his chest and closed her eyes. Her breathing slowed in sync with his and she felt herself relaxing completely in his arms. She had been so stuck in her head and anxious around him for the past few weeks as she wrestled with her feelings for him, but she wasn't thinking at all right now and it felt completely right.

"Don't move," he whispered into the top of her head as she felt his hand drop down and grab hold of the sheath on her back. He raised her katana up and out to the side, then slowly and carefully placed it back in its holder. With both arms free, he wrapped them around her upper back and let his head sink down to rest on her head. With her head still resting against her chest, she opened her eyes to get her bearings and she was met with the site of decapitated walkers. She laughed to herself as she thought of what how fitting this moment was for them. Her eyes focused on the head closest to her which had the clean, signature mark of a kill from her katana. She was impressed with how well he did his first time with the sword, but she honestly wouldn't have expected anything less. Her eyes were drawn from the neck to the forehead of the walker which seemed to have a marking on it. She placed her palm against his chest and pulled her head away as she strained to get a better look.

Rick was jarred by the movement, "What's wrong?"

"It's forehead, is that some kind of mark?" she asked as she broke their embrace and walked over to kneel next to it for a closer look. He followed and took a knee as well, brushing the debris from its forehead to reveal a 'W' carved into it.

She looked at him, her jaw clenched and a pained look on her face that he'd seen before outside the gates of Shirewilt. He looked back at her and nodded showing that he recognized this marking, as well.


	6. Chapter 6

"Rick?"

Rick and Michonne had just ascended the steps to their home when they heard a female voice call out behind them. They turned to see their neighbor, Jessie Anderson, standing in the middle of their yard looking upset. Rick and Michonne exchanged a quick questioning glance. It was nearly 9:00 PM and they were just coming home from a long meeting at Deanna's. They had gone straight to her house after returning from the woods to debrief her on the walker they found and the need to inform the community and increase security measures given what they had seen at Shirewilt. What should have been a short, straight-forward meeting had been drawn out due to Deanna's reluctance to enact their plan. She didn't want to cause alarm in the community and preferred to keep the matter among a select few.

"Hey Jessie. Everything OK?" Rick called out to her, his tone sounding more bothered than concerned. Jessie probably couldn't tell, but Michonne picked up on it easily. She imagined that he was frustrated with his obligation to get involved in whatever was going on at this late hour, especially when he had more pressing matters on his mind.

"No," she said as her voice cracked with emotion and her eyes welled up with tears. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure. Come on in." His tone softened, likely at the sight of her tears. He continued up toward the front door, but she balked.

"Can we talk elsewhere? I just...I don't want..." she trailed off as she nervously looked in the direction of her house.

Rick looked at Michonne again; she noticed his jaw was tightened. She brushed his forearm lightly and whispered, "Go ahead. I'll go get the kids and get them to bed."

"Thanks," he said as he turned to head down the steps toward Jessie.

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The sound of the front door opening startled Michonne out of her light sleep. She found herself on the living room couch where she had apparently dozed off. She glanced up at the clock on the wall which read 11:40 PM, then over to Rick who was taking his boots off in the foyer. "Hey," she called out.

"Hey. Sorry, I was trying not to wake you."

"No, it's OK. I was supposed to be waiting up for you."

He made his way over to the couch and took a seat next to her. He smiled at the sight of a bag of trail mix, empty wine glass, and half-drunk bottle of pinot noir on the coffee table. "This your dinner?"

"Yeah," she said bashfully. "Too tired to cook." She turned her body so that she was facing him; feet tucked under her and side against the back of the couch.

He smiled as he poured himself a glass and took a handful of trail mix, then leaned back into the couch and propped his feet up on the table. "Carl and Judith give you any problems?"

"None at all. They were asleep when I went to pick them up from Glenn and Maggie's so they said to just let them stay the night. They'll bring them by in the morning."

"You tell them what we found?"

"Of course I did. I don't care what Deanna thinks, I'm not keeping secrets from our family. They need to know about the threat so they can protect themselves. Plus Glenn was there with us, he deserves to know." Rick nodded in agreement. "You were gone a long time..."

"I went for a walk after we finished up. Just needed to clear my head. Guess I lost track of time." He ran his hand through his hair, then let it settle on the back of his neck while he rubbed it with a slight grimace on his face.

"What happened with Jessie?"

"Unfortunately it's what we suspected. She said Pete's been abusing her. He hasn't hit her in a couple of months, but he's been drinking more and they've been arguing a lot lately. She's afraid it's gonna start up again. She wants out for her and her boy's sake. Deanna's known about it, but never did anything."

"That seems to be her M.O." Michonne said rolling her eyes.

"Well, that's gonna have to change. On all accounts. I'm gonna see about getting Jessie and Pete separate places tomorrow and keep a closer eye on them. It's not ideal, but it's something."

"It is. Unfortunately you'll never be able to place enough distance between them in this place, never mind enforce it well enough to make a real difference. It sort of makes you miss our old legal system. Flawed as it was, at least there were options between ignoring it and exiling him."

Rick chuckled, "Yeah, if only we knew some cops and lawyers who could bring it back."

"If only..." she said with a grin.

Rick's face sobered quickly. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to make light of the situation. I'm just frustrated. I feel for her, I truly do. She's trapped in a shit marriage and there's no good solution here."

Michonne frowned as she looked at him. His eyes were cast down toward his hands in his lap. She knew the situation hit close to home on some level, and figured it was the reason he needed some time to himself after speaking with her. Aside from her brief acknowledgment of his visions of Lori, they had never discussed the specifics of the situation. Grieving a lost love is a normal reaction, but being haunted by one isn't. It implies some level of guilt and complicated feelings. She knew this, of course, from firsthand experience. He was quiet for a minute before he started talking again.

"Things were bad between Lori and me the months before she died. I was barely speaking to her. I was just done. Part of me want to end things, but I couldn't with the baby on the way, and Carl and her needing my protection. The last conversation we had, she actually made a joke about being unable to get a divorce and what _for better or for worse_ meant nowadays." He shook his head, still looking down. "If things hadn't ended like they did, maybe we would have worked through it. Or maybe we would have ended up like Jessie and Pete."

"You're not like Pete. That's not how it would have been," she said softly. He tilted his head to look at her finally.

"No, I know, but we might still be together, hurting each other in different ways."

"But you're not," she pointed out to him in a gentle tone.

"No, we're not," he said as he exhaled and nodded his head. He leaned forward to grab the bag of trail mix and set it in his lap for easier access before settling back in. He popped a small handful into his mouth and looked at her with a wry smile while he chewed, "You were right today. This place definitely has a way of bringing up _things_."

"Yeah, it's not just that this place is a constant reminder of what used to be, it's that you actually have the time to think about it, too. That's the kicker," she said realizing this was one of the most honest things she'd said to him regarding why she, at least in some small way, was feeling out of sorts lately. She expected him to pick up on this and use it as an in to further conversation, but he seemed to be in his own head tonight.

"Yeah," he responded, his attention now focused on the bag on his lap as he dug through it with his free hand. Once he was done, he looked up at her again. "You doing OK after everything that happened today?"

"Yeah. I never expected an entirely peaceful existence here. Not much has changed except that we know who's coming and that's it's probably sooner than later." That was the honest truth. She felt safe, but not invincible in this community.

"Out in the woods today, I know I said I didn't care where we were, but I want you to know that I'm still going to do everything I can to protect this place."

"I know," she said unable to suppress the small smile that had popped up. She hadn't questioned this at all and found it funny that he felt the need to clarify. He widened his eyes a bit questioning her reaction. "That's what you do. What we do." She shrugged her shoulders as if to say _it's just that simple_ and continued to watch him as he nodded, then returned his attention to the trail mix. She thought it was odd that he was so intent on this until she realized what he was doing.

"Are you eating around the raisins?" she said in a higher pitch, accusatory tone. She caught him off guard, and he turned to her, his face frozen in the most puzzled look.

"Yeah, I don't like raisins," he said unaware of what the problem was.

"Nobody does! You take a handful and eat it. No picking. It ruins the ratios for the rest of us." She extended her foot out to nudge his thigh for emphasis.

"God damn..." he said shaking his head with and laughing at her passionate reaction. He sealed up the bag and returned it to the table along with his now empty glass. "I think I'm set. Thanks for making dinner tonight, by the way" he teased her.

"Anytime," said grinning. She expected him to get up at that point, but he settled back into the couch and folded his hands across belly. He looked tired, and he had every reason to be given the day they had. He could have taken advantage of a rare night without the kids and gone straight upstairs to shower and go to sleep, yet here he was spending time with her. More time with her, actually, considering they had really only been apart for two and a half hours since waking. Their physical contact was increasing and becoming more casual, as well, after months of being friends and never so much as a quick hug, there was this compulsion now to initiate contact and she felt it from him too, most notably in his hug earlier that day.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked after a minute or so of quiet.

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye feigning fear since she had just attacked him over his eating habits. "I don't know..."

"When we were back in the barn, you said _we do what we have to do, then we get to live._ What does that look like to you?"

His eyes widened in surprise, not expecting a serious question at all. "Living?"

"Yeah," she said eyes locked on him.

He exhaled and furrowed his brow as if he was searching his mind for an answer. "Having a steady place to live. Food. Safety. Once we found that, I felt like we could ease up a little bit."

"Hmmm," she said nodding slowly. "Isn't that just surviving? Being comfortable?" He shifted so that his torso was now turned towards her and they were face to face. She thought he looked surprised that she had challenged his answer.

"Well, what does it look like for you?"

She shifted in her seat and noticed that she was breathing deeper, not because she was nervous, but because of the weight of what she was about to say. "I want a full life. I want everything. Safety, a home, community, family...love." She sustained his gaze watching for a reaction, and feeling surprisingly calm. She could see the rise and fall of his chest, as well. His gaze shifted downward for a second then return to her eyes before speaking in such a quiet, tender voice that it made her heart ache.

"You don't feel like you have that already?"

"No. Not all of it." She spoke quietly, but unapologetically. Directly, but without blame. He nodded in understanding and swallowed hard. She could see him wrestling with what to say before he spoke.

"I think...I think that in this world, the more you have in your life, the more vulnerable you are. There's only so much loss someone can take." She nodded accepting that he was coming from a place of fear. Perhaps tonight wasn't the best night to have this conversation given the imminent threat to their safety and the situation with the Andersons, but there was no such thing as a good time now.

"Yeah, I used to think that way too. The thing is, if you're worried about it, it's already too late." He broke her gaze and she could see tension in his face has he lowered his head. She reached her left hand up to his head and swept an errant curl from his forehead, then let her hand fall down to his cheek. She leaned in and placed a light kiss on his forehead before pulling away and letting her hand finish trailing down his face. She stood up from the couch and made her way upstairs to her bedroom.

**A/N: Don't be upset with me. Please. I had to cut it off somewhere, and we'll pick right back up where we left off in the next chapter. Expect the final installment next week. Thank you for reading and reviewing! I hope you're enjoying this. I thought it would be worth seeing what would happen if Rick and Michonne were their own biggest obstacles without too much outside influence. They have issues, but they are staying in each other's lives and staying sane because of it (ahem, Rick). I also wanted to cast a different light on Jessie story line and how I felt it would affect our characters' lives. **


	7. Chapter 7

An hour had passed before she finally heard the sound of Rick's footsteps coming up the stairs. As they grew louder with each step, she felt her stomach clench with nervousness and braced herself for the knock she expected to hear on her bedroom door. The footsteps traveled down the hall, though, and she heard the faint sound of his bedroom door closing followed soon after by the sound of the shower starting.

She rolled onto her side, facing the alarm clock on her nightstand. 1:40 AM. She let out an exasperated sigh and clenched her eyes shut, hoping to force sleep to come. Eventually it was the absence of sound that caused her to open her eyes. 1:47 AM. The running water had stopped and there were a few soft thuds and clanks, then silence. She rolled onto her back and chided herself for feeling even the slightest bit disappointed that he had not returned to continue their conversation. It was overly optimistic if not downright delusional to think that he could have sorted out his feelings with an hour of alone time. For all she knew, he could have just fallen asleep down there. Possible, but unlikely given how well she knew Rick and his beautiful, tortured mind. She also knew from personal experience that these changes can take time to happen, if they ever happen at all. She found herself going over scenarios of how their first exchange would be in the morning. They all started with awkwardness; that was a given in her mind. The endings ran the gamut from happily ever after, to status quo, to disaster. She had started perseverating on her emergency plan: move in with Sasha, maybe Glenn and Maggie, start looking for another position in the community, branch out and make friends with Alexandrians, give Rick space, let things cool off, and eventually return to being friends. No matter what happened, she could do these things and deal with it. She looked over at the clock again. 2:59 AM.

She groaned and whispered out loud, "Enough. You can't do this to yourself." She got herself out of bed and threw a thin cotton lavender robe on over her white tank and grey printed pajama bottoms. She quietly exited her room and headed down to the living room where she walked over to the book shelf and started looking for something to read. She hoped a book would be a good distraction and an even better sedative at this late hour. She skimmed through the books trying to find one she hadn't already read in her previous life.

"Michonne?"

She inhaled sharply and her shoulders tensed from being startled by the voice. She took a exhaled and calmed herself before turning to look toward the staircase where she saw Rick on his way down.

"Yeah, it's just me. Sorry I woke you."

He reached the bottom and walked into the living room to join her. "No, you didn't. I wasn't sleeping." His voice was strained and tired sounding, but soft in tone.

"Oh...sorry for that too, then," she said quietly knowing that her admission was likely the reason he wasn't sleeping either.

He waved his hand dismissively trying to ease her of her guilt, then took a step closer to her so that they were standing face to face in the center of the room with just a few feet between them. He placed his hand on his right hip and looked down to the ground, letting out an almost imperceptible sigh. She took him in, standing there in sweats and a white t-shirt. She wanted so much from him, but more than anything, she wanted him to be well.

"Rick, I want you to know that I understand where you're coming from. You have to work through things on your own time, and I don't hold that against you. I can't. So no matter-"

He interrupted her with a dry laugh, looked up to the ceiling and muttered out loud, "This...this is why."

She looked at him nervously, taken off guard by his reaction. There was no malice or manipulation to her statement, nothing to misinterpret as far as she could tell. He looked back at her finally, his face softer than she'd expected it to be. He took a step closer to her so that there was probably a foot between them, but to her it felt as though he was right on top of her. He tilted his head and gave her a small comforting smile, probably because he noticed the slight grimace that was on her face.

"I'm not sure if you understand how much you mean to me," he said with a slight break in his voice.

"I think I have an idea because I know what you mean to me," she answered quietly.

A sad smile played on his lips and he shook his head disagreeing that she could even come close to knowing. "I'm not here without you. If you didn't come when you did, I don't know what would have happened. What you've done for me...for my family. You saved us." She saw that his eyes had become glassy and she felt her lip begin to quiver with emotion and her eyes began to well up with tears, as well. He gently placed his hands on her shoulders, bracing himself and her.

"You saved me, too, Rick." He instantly began to shake his head no. "Yes," she said pointedly. "You did. I had been through hell, and I wasn't sure if I could make it back, but I did. And it was because of you." She maintained eye contact with him, making she that he knew that she was speaking the truth.

"You're everything to me. You're my friend, my confidante, my partner...if something happened between us or if I lost you, I don't think I could make it back from that. I don't know what my life would be without you. And it scares the hell out of me."

She brought her hands to his shoulders and gently joined her fingers behind his neck, lowering his forehead to hers allowing them to rest against each other. "You would be OK because we're survivors. We have been through the worst shit and we're still here. That's what we do. You do it for yourself, the kids, the group...and I would do the same." He shut his eyes and she could feel him nodding in agreement against her forehead. She gently rubbed her thumbs to along his jaw line where they were resting, pausing for a moment before continuing to speak.

"I never told you this, but after the prison fell, and we were all split up, I came across yours and Carl's tracks..." she drew in a shaky breath, and tears started falling down her cheeks. "And I went the other direction. I was gonna go off on my own, shut myself off from the possibility of being hurt again..." Rick tilted his head upward to meet her eyes, their foreheads still resting against each other. His mouth was slightly agape and he was still as could be. "But I realized that you can't do that. I wasn't dead, and I couldn't stop myself from feeling. I didn't _want_ to. So I turned around and found my way back to you both. And no matter what happens, or how this all ends, I will never regret that. Never."

Tears continued to fall down her face, and Rick lifted his forehead from hers and pulled away to look at her. He brushed the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs and let his hands continue to cradle her face, then he lowered his head, tilting it slightly to the side, and gently pulled her face towards him, letting his lips press into hers. Michonne gave into the kiss immediately returning the light pressure of his lips with her own. The intensity quickly built and soon his hands were sliding from her face to her shoulders, one hand wrapping around to rest between her shoulder blades so that he could pull her in closer. Once their bodies were pressed together, Michonne reflexively exhaled into his mouth mid-kiss as desire continued to mount in her. Her hands traced down the muscles of his back until they landed just above his waist. She pulled him tight against her and leaned into him unable to get as close as she wanted to. As their movement became more frenzied, she broke their kiss and pulled her head away to look into his eyes. She wanted to know that he was there with her. He looked back at her and gave a slight nod, then pulled her back into a kiss. He slipped the robe off of her shoulders, letting it fall to the ground, while he moved his lips down her neck scattering kisses until he reached her collar bone. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling deeply as his hands crept down past her buttocks and cupped under them lifting her into him.

She gasped in surprise, "Rick..."

"Come with me," he whispered into her ear in his thick southern drawl. She couldn't deny that voice or this man, nor did she want to, so she wrapped her legs around him. He carried her to the couch where he laid her on her back and lowered himself on top of her. She reached for his face to pull him back into a kiss, but he caught her hand and pulled his face back.

"What's wrong?" she whispered.

"Nothing," he said smiling as he traced the fingers of his other hand along her cheek bone. "I've just thought about this for a while."

"Me too," she said sweetly waiting for him to resume their activities. He continued stroking her face and gazing into her eyes. "Rick...it's been a really long time."

"It's OK," he started to say reassuringly.

"No, it's...you're killing me right now," she said as she lifted her hips to press them into his sending the message that she was impatiently awaiting the next step. He dropped his head to her chest and started laughing quietly. "I'm sorry," she said starting to laugh as well.

"Nah, I get it," he said as he brought his mouth to hers and silenced her with a kiss.

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Michonne was slowly lifted from sleep by the sound of birds chirping and the warmth of sunlight streaming through their living room windows. If she didn't know otherwise, she could almost fool herself into thinking she was just a normal Saturday morning in suburbia. She looked at the clock on the wall. 8:05 AM. She frowned knowing that she was going to have to end this moment. She laid on the couch on her side, her head resting in the fold of Rick's right arm with the left draped over her waist, his body pressed against the back of hers. They were naked save for the throw blanket haphazardly covering them. She took his left hand in hers, lightly rubbing her thumb over it then bringing it to her mouth for a kiss.

"Rick?" she whispered.

"Hmmm," he murmured into her neck where his head was resting.

"We should probably get up. The kids could come home any time now." She gently unwrapped herself from his arms and sat up on the edge of the couch, yawning and stretching her arms before she got up to gather their clothes. She slipped her tank and pajama bottoms back on, then pulled the robe over her shoulders and tied it at the waist. She looked back to see Rick still lying on the couch with a smile on his face.

"You gonna stay like that all day?"

"Maybe."

She tossed his shirt and sweat pants to him. "I don't have a problem with it. Others might, though..."

He sat up and pulled his pants on, then walked over to her, white t-shirt still in his hand. "Good morning," he said as he placed a kiss on her lips.

"Good morning," she said smiling. A knock came at the door, and they gave each other a knowing look, then she walked over to answer the door as he slipped his shirt on.

She swung the door wide open to see Carl holding Judith with Maggie and Glenn behind them.

"Good morning guys," she said as Rick came up right behind her and gave a greeting as well.

"Morning," Maggie said as Carl made his way into the house. "We already had chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, so they should be wired and ready to go."

"Thanks for that. We should let you keep them until after the sugar crash," Rick said sarcastically with a laugh. Michonne felt his hand rest lightly on her hip as he stood behind her. She shifted to obscure it, but she saw Glenn's eyes catch her movement then look back up at her.

"We could, if you want," Glenn offered. "It's a nice day; we could hang out at the playground for a bit." Maggie looked at Glenn with a surprised look.

Michonne smiled, "Nah, it's OK. You guys go on with your day. Thank you, though, for everything."

"No problem," Glenn said. "Anytime."

"Thanks again. We'll see y'all later. Dinner tonight at Carol's, right?" Rick asked.

"Right," Maggie said. "See you then!" They turned and walked away as Rick reached over Michonne's head to shut the door, then leaned against it.

"How is it possible to feel so energized and so tired at the same time?" he pondered from his spot against the door.

"Glenn saw that," she said with her hands on her hips.

"I know," he said.

"OK..." she said as a small grin took over. "Well, I'm gonna put the coffee on."

**A/N: The End. This was my first multi-part story and it was a learning experience from start to finish. Thanks for following along and reading while I felt my way though the process! I appreciate the reviews and support, they a hufe motivation to continue writing. **

**Quick follow up to focused on prosperity's review, I don't think Rick could see himself as ever being the abuser Pete was, but he did relate to their broken marriage. He worried about the emotional scars that he and Lori could have continued to inflict on each other versus the physical. **


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